The Camp Half-Blood Bake Off
by ZoeNightshade12
Summary: New to Hephaestus TV- welcome to The Camp Half-Blood Bake Off! Instead of battling monsters or completing dangerous quests, these demigods get to compete in a (mostly) friendly competition filled with cake and confectionery, rather than death and danger. So grab a seat, and some afternoon tea, then get ready for a fun time!


The Camp Half-Blood Bake Off

"A sunny morning at camp, as always- but a day like no other!" Leo announced in a dramatic fashion, smiling for the cameras. "That's right folks, today marks the beginning of the highly anticipated Camp Half-Blood Bake Off! I'm your host Leo Valdez, Bad Boy Supreme _and_ baking extraordinaire, until I was disqualified for the exploding chocolate fudge cake last week... I'm telling you, Chiron- I wasn't aiming for Mr. D! Nevertheless, we have our six shortlisted contestants at the ready, so please welcome: Percy Jackson!"

"I'm just gonna warn you all now..." Percy admitted with a mischievous grin, "E _verything_ is gonna be blue. I mean, come on."

"Annabeth Chase!"

"I have many skills, and baking is one of them." Annabeth took her boyfriend's hand, smiling- a look of _I'm totally gonna own you losers_ on her face.

"Piper McLean, or Beauty Queen!"

"I swear on the River Styx Leo," Piper promised, "If you call me that one more time you'll find your face shoved into a cream cake."

"Jeez, Pipes! I was only joking..." Leo hastily continued, glancing nervously at Piper's hand, which had been drifting dangerously close to her sheathed dagger. "Jason Grace!"

"I may not be as good as those fish-centaur thingies- man, those brownies were awesome- but Coach has called me a cupcake on many occasions so..." Jason shrugged, staring off into the distance as if reminiscing of better times, eating some quality brownies from under the sea on the Argo II.

"My bezzie-mate Nico di Angelo!"

"Two things." Nico replied. "I'm here because I was forced to, and can I just say? No."

"And last but not least, Will Solace!"

" _Bezzie-mate?_ " Will demanded, staring incredulously at Leo.

"Moving on!" Leo clapped his hands, walking briskly away from Will- who was giving him a murderous look. "Last week we asked each of you to prepare your own take on a classic Victoria sponge- and here to taste them are our two wonderful judges: Grover Underwood-"

"Food!" Grover whooped, already eating a napkin.

"And Rachel Elizabeth Dare/ Part-time Oracle!"

"My talents include: telling the future, painting stuff and eating baked goods." Rachel laughed, watching Grover take a second helping.

so for the first test, "Loving the enthusiasm there guys! Jumping right on in, it's Cake Week- so please bring your completed Victoria sponge variations up to the table, before Grover starts eating the silverware." Leo joked.

"Uhh, too late Leo." Grover held up a half eaten fork.

"For goodness sake- can't you wait for like, two seconds?" Leo sighed. "Right, Annabeth, if you would take up your cake, please... And explain your creation to the judges!"

"Sure thing." Annabeth brought up her sponge-cake and placed it on the judges table. "So, the cream and jam are in exactly equal parts, and both cake slices are even to one another- with the ratio of jam/cream to cake being 1:3. And... oh yeah- I did the camp logo on top in powdered sugar." She remembered, pointing to the sugar work.

"Dang, Annabeth!" Leo marvelled. "That sure is one detailed cake- but what do our judges think? Grover, any comments?"

"Food! Yum! Cake!"

"A satyr of many words." Leo shook his head in resignation. "And you, Rachel?"

"Nice attention to accuracy, Annabeth." Rachel nodded appraisingly. "I don't need to see the future to tell that it'll taste great- and I think Grover agrees with me-"

"Yeah I do! Now enough chit-chat, I'm hungry!" Grover gave up waiting, serving himself a huge slice.

"As these guys try the cake, we have time for a quick talk with our next baker to face the judges scrutiny- though by the looks of it Grover'll eat pretty much anything." The dashing host moved towards the baker's table. "How are ya Percy?"

"Okay, I guess." Percy sighed. "I gotta say, baking sure beats fighting the Titans, or the Giants, or being in Tartarus, or-"

"Right!" Leo interrupted. "Time to go back and find out the judges' verdict. Rachel, thoughts?"

"Tastes as good as it looks- great work there Annabeth!"

"Cheers, Rachel." Annabeth thanked her, smiling confidently.

"It sure looks good," Leo agreed, "I can't wait to try some myself... Wait, where's the rest of it gone? Grover! Did you eat the whole thing?" He gawked at the satyr.

"Well, I had help." He confessed, giving Rachel a high-five.

"Rachel!" Leo chided. "Not you too?" Rachel shrugged in reply. "Y'all need to cut back on the cake. Remember, we have 5 more contestants, so just _chill,_ okay?" Leo shook his head again at the judges. "Anyways, Grover- overall, how d'you fancy Annabeth's chances?"

"What? Oh yeah, the contest. Sorry- I was distracted by... Anyway, by the looks of it, the others have their work cut out. That was a top notch cake Annabeth!"

"Glad you liked it, Goat Boy."

"So! A good result for our first baker- Percy, you're up next! Bring forth the cake." Leo declared, as Percy brought his bake to the judges. He placed it on the table, laughing at his work.

"Well... I tried." He smiled, embarrassed. "Not as good as Annabeth's, but..." He trailed off, watching the judges' reaction.

"Dude- I... It's _blue-tiful."_ Grover gazed at the cake in awe. "Can you please explain your... your masterpiece?"

"What? Oh- yeah, of course! So- it's my mom's recipe," Percy explained, clearly relieved, "I made it with two blue sponge cakes, with blue double cream and blueberry jam in the middle- and then added my own twist with the decor. As you can see-" He pointed to the top, "A layer of blue icing with a load blue m&m's... do you really like it?" He asked, obviously mystified.

Leo stared in silence for a minute. "Wow. I never knew you could bake, man! And the m&m's really round it all off- wow. I better have a piece now, before the judges scoff it all- Grover! What did I tell you about eating the cutlery?"

"Sorry! All this talk of cake's made me hungry again."

"What the heck, Grover! I've seen whales who've eaten less than you! Right- let me try this cake already..." He paused, taking a big slice. "Oh, man. Whoa. _W_ _hoa._ Get some of this guys! And to all you folks at home, _dang_ , you're missing out on some awesome blue-goodness." Leo grinned, his face full of cake. "But it's the judges' opinion that counts! What d'you reckon?"

Grover took a moment to stop scoffing the sponge to answer- "10/10 Percy. And hey, could I get some of this to go?"

"Sure thing- but, uh- save some for the others okay?" Percy answered, overwhelmed by the feedback. "But- I mean... you guys are joking, right? One cake can't be _that_ good- jeez..."

"Uh, you haven't tried it yet, man." Leo dismissed, taking another piece. "This stuff is the best."

"I gotta agree," Rachel concurred. "You and Annabeth oughta start a bakery in New Rome or something." Percy grinned at Annabeth as if he liked the idea.

"Well, as everyone enjoys some quality cake- let's bring up our next contestant- Piper! And may I remind you that this is a safe space for bakers and hosts alike to have some friendly competition- _without_ fear of being stabbed! Thank you..." Leo carried on, having polished off his second slice.

Piper pushed his shoulder good-naturedly. "I'd only murder you a little bit, Valdez. Promise. Anyways- here's my cake... What d'you think?" She placed a sponge adorned with various berries on the table. "The strawberries should be good, being as I picked them from the camp's fields."

Leo whistled. "Looks like the judges are gonna have a tough time deciding a winner today, because everyone so far has put even Mary Berry to shame! What do you two think of Beauty Queen's fruity twist on this classic? Hey- I'm really getting into this baking thing."

"It sure looks delicious, very light." Rachel answered. "It'll be nice to try some and- Leo! Duck!" Rachel shouted, as Piper picked up her creation and launched it at Leo's face with pin-point accuracy. With a colossal _thwack,_ Piper's cake/ deadly missile sent Leo crashing to the ground.

Piper dusted her hands off casually. "Oops. My hand slipped." The others gaped at her as Leo struggled to his feet, cake and fruit plastered onto his face.

He blinked, wiping cake from his face, then continued- "Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, that's all we have time for! Thanks to our sponsor, the Delphi Strawberry Service- and _no_ thanks to Piper for attacking a defenceless TV show host!"

"Hey Leo!" Nico called, his cake in hand- "You never got to try my cake!"

"Oh no you don't- keep away from me DiAngelo!" Leo shouted- backing up quickly. "Goodbye for now, and keep baking!"

 _Splat!_


End file.
